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I grew up Southern Baptist. The church I attended for most of my life was non-denominational, but I grew up in a Southern Baptist school with Southern Baptists friends who went to Southern Baptists churches and we all believed the same things. My parents taught me the things that every good Christian should be taught, and more than that, they modeled with their lives what they taught me with their words. This is one of the reasons that I am still a Christian today.
In high school, I didn't go through a religious crisis of conscious. I held strongly to my beliefs and so did my friends and family. College presented some challenges, and my experiences after college presented even more. I met people with differing beliefs and compelling and well-crafted arguments. I met people with different lifestyle choices, people who believed and felt differently than what I was taught to believe and feel. Through my experiences with people, I was being taught to question "truth." I began to question what I had been taught, why I had been taught these things, and the systems of power that existed and had grown because of some of these teachings. Ultimately, I concluded that my religion, my personal relationship with God was not dependent upon the religious institutions and groups that claimed to stand for what I believed. Complicated as it was, I had to reconcile what I was learning of the world to what I read in the Bible, what I had been taught, what I believed. I some ways, I am still working to reconcile these things.
Christianity began with a small gathering of people in ancient Israel. This small tribe of people and the beliefs that they had spread throughout the world, and the tribe of 12 men grew to millions. Affected by culture, politics, and power, the religion known as "Christianity" has evolved throughout time even if the core value has remained the same. Sometimes even that it hard to believe. More often that not, recently, I find myself arguing against what has become the mainstream conservative Evangelical voice in the United States rather than with it. The loudest voices that have aligned themselves with the Conservative Right in this country often do not speak for me as a minority and as a woman. I continue to argue against those in my tribe who blindly value American lives over the lives of refugees. I debate with those in the Church who refuse to acknowledge the systemic racism that persists in this country. I respect the identity of others regardless of what I believe about their choices. But I still belong to and love those in my broken tribe of Christians, even when we don't agree about the big things.
This is the nature of religion. There is fear and hope, sin and forgiveness, wrong and right, humanity and the Divine, and faith covers all. For those who have never truly believed or even for those who have abandoned their beliefs, it is difficult to understand it. Our modern Western culture has worked overtime to oversimplify the nuances of religion. Religion is not simple, even if belief is. "Believe what you want and do what makes you happy. If any religion tells you otherwise, it's repression. It's unnatural."
Ellen Page** is the perfect example of how the modern west has lost its understanding of religion. (She attacked Chris Pratt because of his church affiliation several months ago) She, like so many others, have an oversimplified understanding of religion and faith. We seem to have forgotten the although religion can be about relationship, to truly be religion it should define a person's life. Otherwise, it's a fad or a lifestyle choice. If your religion demands that you eat meat in every meal, you don't get to stop eating meat because Beyonce wants you to be a vegan. If your religion says that women are subservient to men, you don't get to ignore it because feminism is popular. Most religions don't invite you to pick and choose the parts that you like depending on the popular culture and ideas of the day. And when religious ideas condemn the lifestyles of others in your circles of influence, you don't stop believing because others might be offended. If Chris Pratt belongs to a church that believes something that is counter to what Ellen and many others are fighting for, she does not have the right to condemn him for it.
I am not here to defend Christianity. In this country, it does not need defending. I am also not here to vilify culture or the decay of morality that so many in Christian circles seem to constantly worry about. I have had my own complicated journey with what I have been taught to believe and what I believe is right when it comes to complicated and often painful issues like gender, sexuality, equality, and value. At the center of what I believe is my unwavering faith in God and my experiences which are undeniable. I choose to be part of a flawed Church, this misfit tribe, whether I support everything I'm told it stands for or not. I don't ask that everyone believes the way that I do, although I invite anyone to learn about and experience the joy and the life that my faith gives. I do, however, expect my lifestyle and the beliefs that accompany it to be respected and acknowledged just as I am expected to respect and acknowledge the choices of others. I think that is only right.
| * https://www.pngkey.com/detail/u2q8w7y3i1y3i1w7_christian-artwork-songer-consulting-american-flag-and-christian/ |
** https://www.thecut.com/2019/02/ellen-page-reminds-chris-pratt-of-hillsongs-homophobia.html
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